Being patient. It’s a tool in my toolbox that is lacking.
We can’t change our children. We can only guide them towards what we want for them.
[ctt template=”4″ link=”6jMIh” via=”yes” ]We can’t change our children. We can only guide them towards what we want for them. #beingpatient #parenthood @Blissful_Intent[/ctt]
However, can we just get real for a second? It’s Monday. The weekend is gone and now I have to get my 6-year-old ready for school and my 1 year old ready for daycare. All I want to do is drink my coffee while it’s hot and catch up on some news. But no, instead I get to drink half of my coffee hot then run all over the house finding all of the things for my 6-year-old. Then come back and drink my coffee cold while trying to get dressed.
Do you remember that scene from Home Alone where they are rushing through the house because Kevin unplugged the alarm to charge his camera? Then the alarm didn’t go off and the result was pure mayhem?
Well, my alarm went off, but that’s how my house looks every weekday. I found before my kid started kindergarten that getting up at 6 am worked just fine. I had enough time to drink coffee, do makeup and catch up on some news for 20 minutes until I had to wake the girls. Getting up at 6 am gave me a decent amount of time to get the girls ready, myself ready and leave the house and still get to work 15 minutes early.
My child is slower than molasses. She is a sloth. I have a monkey who jumps and runs when told it’s time to leave, then I have a sloth. No joke. She takes 30 minutes to eat 1 pop tart. Now I felt guilty for a few weeks when I told her she could no longer eat at home. Then I told myself no… Snap out of it Heather because it’s not your fault. She doesn’t get up early enough or eat quick enough so this is the way it has to be. I am slowly coming around to the realization that she’s slow in many ways and does things in her own time. Do not mistake me when I say she’s slow. She’s very independent. She usually doesn’t want any help whatsoever. Except when it comes to morning routines. She wants me to pick out her clothes, brush her hair, put her shoes on her. She’s 6! I wish there was something I could do, but being patient seems to be the only thing I can do. She’s been like this her whole life. She just used to be more prone to getting herself ready. Now not so much. I honestly don’t know if it’s the fact that she’s getting older or if it’s a cry for attention.
So I am coming around to this conclusion that she’s going to take her time in life to get things done and I need to work on being patient with her. I need to learn that this is my issue to deal with not hers. She is a child and she cannot possibly understand what is going through my mind, nor should she have to. She may whine along the way, “I can’t do it, mom, it’s hard…” But she usually gets it done. It just takes me holding her hand and 4 hours to get there. I just have to be there and guide her. Telling her the whole way, “You’ve got this.”
This all comes full circle because I just never had the luxury as a child to lay around until someone made me get up and get going. I have two older brothers and they basically raised me when we were at home. We are all around 3 years apart and I am the youngest, so naturally I looked to them for guidance. I, not once questioned Big bro. I knew if I did he would lay the smack down and that would be the end of it. So when he said it was time to get up, it was time to get up and get going.
I guess what I see as my daughter having a luxury, just never had a place in my childhood. We had to do everything for ourselves in the mornings and at night. We had to do it because no one else would be there to do it for us. Our mom worked as a nurse on very long shifts. We only got to see our dad every other weekend. So it was up to us. Although I didn’t have my mom there to help me brush my hair and get dressed, I did have two very loving brothers. While they didn’t get me ready they were there with me as I figured it out on my own. All of this began at a much younger age than my daughter is now.
I guess what I’m saying is, my 6-year-old has the luxury of having a mom present in the mornings. It may take her 9 million minutes to get her shoes on and hair brushed, but I need to be okay with that. She needs me now and it won’t always be that way. Being patient and present is the only solution to this.
So here I am learning to accept this lesson in life. Being patient with her. With myself.
What do you do to get your kids into action? I made a free checklist that we are going to implement tonight to help our daughter remember what she needs to do each day. You can grab a free copy today if you head over and sign up for my newsletter.
Affirmations for Motherhood
Breathe life into your journey through motherhood with these affirmations.